As long as marijuana is illegal, we will all have to deal with them. You know, the sometimes shady, sometimes flaky, sometimes weird weed dealer? The one who will tell you he is going to call you and you don’t hear from him for 3 days. Yeah… that guy.

Hopefully you have a good weed man, for your sake. Hopefully you have a guy that will do at least 5-10 things on this list. They don’t necessarily have to do them all (nobodies perfect) but they definitely do have to have a few if they want return customers.

Here are 30 things you should expect to be done from a good weed man, if they aren’t being done then that means that you need to find a new guys.

1. He has good prices
2. Will take shorts from time to time
3. Is available…. ALL THE TIME..
4. Has a phone… with minutes
5. Doesn’t make up weird names for every product
6. Won’t keep you waiting
7. He is local
8. He delivers (sometimes they deliver food or something too)
9. Never lets the phone go to voicemail
10. He is always stocked
11. He has a variety to choose from
12. Throws you a bday sack
13. When he says he’s going to call you back, he actually does
14. Will smoke you up every now and then
15. Doesn’t expect you to smoke him up on stuff you just bought
16. Never short
17. Never pinches the bag
18. If he has bad weed, he gives you large quantities
19. Doesn’t weigh out his weed and gives more than what you paid for
20. Gives free blunt wraps or papers with transactions
21. Has at least one other person that can conduct business for him
22. Doesn’t just give you a good deal the first time you go to him
23. Offers other illegal goods or services
24. They introduce themselves or offer you weed initially
25. They are cool to hang out with.  All weed dealers seem to want to be your friend so at least be interesting
26. Their crib is a place where you can make connections
27. He is consistent… You don’t want him to let you down at the wrong time
28. Picks up his phone whether he has it or not
29. Uses twitter.. Not a requirement but it makes it easier to keep up with him
30. He reads HailMaryJane.com so he knows all of these rules

Shout outs to all my friends on twitter for helping me out with this one. Follow me on twitter if you aren’t already. Did we miss any

Tags: list, marijuana