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Jun 05 2009

77 Ways You Should Know That You Are Way Too Stoned

Published by houroc under Cannabis News,Lists

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We’ve all been there. You smoke and you realize at some point that you got way higher than you thought you would or it creeps up on you and hits you all at once. Then you are past the point of no return. You instantly turn into a vegetable that will only move to get food or to make your way to your bed.  You still feel lovely though.

It happens to the best of us.  Here are 77 ways that I (or my friends) have experienced that let us know that we may have had too much that evening.

You know you are way too stoned when….

  1. You can’t hit your bowl cause it’s clogged with resin
  2. You light your cigarette the wrong way
  3. When you realize that the song you thought you were listening to ended ten minutes ago
  4. When you decide to found your own religion entirely based on the eating of Doritos
  5. You are tired of talking midway through a sentence
  6. Your bags are empty and you don’t know why
  7. When you find yourself at McDonald’s with no money because you spent it on weed
  8. When you say a joke to someone who originally said that same joke to you
  9. When you talk to your cat and get angry because it’s not replying
  10. When you talk to your cat and it actually is replyingstoned_545x408shkl
  11. If you play through just one level of a video game, then look over and find the clock has somehow skipped five hours
  12. When you cough up a lugie and it tastes like bong water
  13. When you stare at a TV that’s not even turned on because you don’t feel like turning it on
  14. You put your lighter in your mouth and try to light it with your bowl. (true story)
  15. When you put sentences together like George Bush
  16. When your friend tells you to roll another blunt, and half an hour later you wonder why no one’s smoking
  17. When you go to Wendy’s and pass out with your face in your french fries
  18. When you decide its a good idea to moon a police officer
  19. When everything is just a little too funny
  20. When walking to your kitchen seems like an epic journey
  21. When you start to do one thing, get distracted by another and never even remember that you started the original thing
  22. When you wake up still high and rush to work only to realize that this is your day off
  23. When you fall asleep 5 minutes after starting a moviesleep_545x377shkl
  24. When you stop at a stop sign and wait for it to turn green
  25. When you load a bowl without dumping the ash out of the last one, you cant pull a hit, and fuck up a bowl of good weed having to dump out a half burning bowl and watch it crumble into black powder
  26. You spend 30 minutes searching for something and then realize that it was in your hand all along
  27. You pour anything but milk into your cereal
  28. Someone says hi to you and you reply 45 minutes later because you just realize what they said
  29. You drive 40mph on the highway
  30. You drive 10mph on the street
  31. When you get excited because you beat your dog in a staring contest
  32. When you call to order a pizza, wait 2 hours and realize that you never actually ordered it
  33. When it takes you 10 minutes to figure out how to operate a seat belt
  34. When you go grocery shopping and the only thing you buy is pop rocks, nerds, and every single wonka candy you findc_545x398shkl
  35. When you just can’t stop coughing
  36. When you forget to put water in the bong
  37. When your bong is taller than your dog
  38. It takes you 25 minutes to roll a joint
  39. When the Taco Bell employees know you by name
  40. You’re eating something on your way home thinking about what you’re gonna eat when you get home
  41. When you start stealing friends lighters
  42. when you try to leave the house but had to go back in 6 times to individually retrieve your wallet, cell phone, lighter, keys, drink, and hat that you remembered to bring, one at a time
  43. You call burger king and ask if they deliver
  44. When you try to figure out ways to smoke the roaches
  45. When you misplace a 3 foot bong, that you just used
  46. When you don’t have anything to drink so you drink the juice from a can of fruit
  47. When you think everyone thinks you’re really stoned
  48. When you look like this….hearts18stoned_545x727shkl
  49. When you “accidentally” kiss your girlfriends sister thinking it was her
  50. You are out of weed so you try chewing on sticks and seeds
  51. Spend an hour trying to find a specific DVD only to realize you left it in the DVD player
  52. When you enjoy not being able to move
  53. When you’ve lost your lighter, again
  54. When you start a sentence and then half way through you forget what you were going to say
  55. When you swear you see police cars behind you and you haven’t even started the car yet
  56. When you forget where you put the rest of the weed or the dutch
  57. When you read a blog post and can’t even make it to number 57 in it without getting distracted by the fridge
  58. When you get lost in your own house
  59. When you have a baggie but no papers so you roll a joint with a page from the phone book
  60. When almost any song sounds good to you
  61. When you’ll eat just about anything4-guinea-pig_545x409shkl
  62. When you change your order at a drive thru like three times and end up with everything you asked for
  63. When you can’t say “Say No To Drugs” without laughing hysterically
  64. When you spend 4 hours walking 3 big circles around town just to find a good place to smoke more
  65. When you forget what you were watching during the commercial break
  66. You are late and stoned to everywhere you go
  67. When you watch your favorite TV show on mute while you listen to your iPod
  68. When you and your friends keep playing a crappy video game because no one feels like switching it
  69. When you wake up at 6………………………….. PM
  70. When you roll up a blunt, forget about it, and then find it a few days later and wonder where it came from
  71. When you cook after getting the munchies and you forget about your find and don’t find it until tomorrow
  72. When you get a board game and you are too lazy to read the directions so you make up your own rules
  73. When You Wait For 4:20 to hit..And its 4:29 before you realized you were sopposed to smoke 9 minutes ago..
  74. You accidentally light your hair on fire instead of the blunthair-on-fire_545x409shkl
  75. When you are at Jack in the Box and you don’t even remember how you got there
  76. You have or know someone who has done more than 20 things on this list
  77. You browse Hail Mary Jane everyday, Subscribe to the feed, or follow me on twitter (shameless plug)

What did I miss? I want to hear some of your crazy “you know your too stoned” situations.

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188 responses so far

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188 Responses to “77 Ways You Should Know That You Are Way Too Stoned”

  1. # S A V V Y Fatty! on 05 Jun 2009 at 13:26

    LMMFAO @ "When walking to the kitchen seems like an epic journey"
    YES!
    I have a very small place and the kitchen ain't that far away, but I'll sit here in my chair and stare at the kitchen entrance waiting for it to get closer for HOURS.
    LOL! Oh, and can't NOBODY tell me Bushie wasn't BLOWN in the video above. Nobody's that idiotic without being under the influence of SOMETHING. (I'd think)

  2. # hourocon 05 Jun 2009 at 14:22

    LMAO Sav's…. ur crazy as hell… Thanks for the comment!

  3. # vannie2on 05 Jun 2009 at 16:55

    How about when it takes 3 attempts to add this page to my favorites

  4. # sirkeithon 05 Jun 2009 at 17:10

    When you are afraid of the Subway restaurant because you have to tell them so much to make your sandwich. After you make it through the sandwich process, you buy 6 cookies out of fear.

  5. # 9-to-Fried » Blog Archive » Oaky Afterbirth for June 5thon 05 Jun 2009 at 13:59

    [...] 77 ways you should know you are way too stoned (Hail Mary Jane) [...]

  6. # InGameNow » Game 1 Highlights from InGameNow, Links from Everyone Elseon 05 Jun 2009 at 15:24

    [...] 77 Ways You Know You are Way Too Stoned [Hail Mary Jane] [...]

  7. # Siiion 05 Jun 2009 at 20:39

    Enter text right here!ever wiped the bread on the butter because you can be bothered to fetch a knife?

  8. # Steveon 05 Jun 2009 at 21:16

    You know you're too stoned when you stop being able to comprehend English, and are instead thinking in a made-up language that you think is the language of babies. Also you know you're too stoned when you're convinced that you are dead.

  9. # potzillaon 05 Jun 2009 at 22:35

    steve, what the hell are you smoking?

  10. # Melissaon 05 Jun 2009 at 22:37

    "When you have a baggie but no papers so you roll a joint with a page from the phone book"

    Try a hotel room, the pipe breaks, so we rolled one with a page from the standard bible in the nightstand drawer. We smoked the bible hahahaha.

  11. # bugginon 05 Jun 2009 at 23:50

    when your friend actually looks at you somewhat frightened and asks "What are you doing?" and your only response is to continue packing the next bong hit and laugh almost hysterically. Then of course the guy on your left seems to have some sort of compulsive obsession because every time i pack one he feels the need to match it. And then you leave the rest of your half lying on OCD dude's couch. and you don't even realize it until hours later 100 miles away and you've already had to pull over twice in the beginning of your journey because moving was no longer an option. That's when you know you're too stoned. oh yeah… and when you realize what you've left behind… you don't even care anymore

  12. # daveon 06 Jun 2009 at 04:10

    when you forget how to breathe and panic because you can't stop holding your breath. then your friend starts laughing at you, and you start laughing too, and then you are endebted to your freind for saving your life.

  13. # Dubon 06 Jun 2009 at 06:10

    when you slide everything across the floor instead of tossing it to someone

  14. # Dubon 06 Jun 2009 at 06:11

    stare at the flame on your lighter and it gets so hot it melts the top and the spring flings the flint,wheel, and guard everywhere

  15. # Dubon 06 Jun 2009 at 06:42

    when you put fabric softener in a paper towel roll and blow smoke through it. Then you can smoke more with out getting caught.

  16. # hourocon 06 Jun 2009 at 07:45

    Not sure what some of you are smoking but you might wanna calm down on some of that stuff… lol..

  17. # Pot_Princesson 06 Jun 2009 at 08:47

    your too high when…….whats was i talkin about lol
    your too high when you start hearing death metal music while watching jamaican booty shakin videos (happened to me lol)

  18. # Iainon 06 Jun 2009 at 09:28

    Holy smoke!!

  19. # el duderooon 06 Jun 2009 at 10:06

    When you make a snack to eat while you make the main snack

  20. # UsTailgateon 06 Jun 2009 at 09:02

    Around the Lot Links for Saturday June 6…

    Sports

    David Ortiz: Advocate of healthy eyesight everywhere (Big League Stew)
    The Greatest Account Of Cutlergate Ever Told, Or Sung (Blog Down, Chicago Bears)
    Sammy Sosa is Cooking Something Up (Bootlegger Sports)
    ACC Announces Early Football Season T…

  21. # usedtoandstilldoon 06 Jun 2009 at 18:50

    When your playing Madden and find yourself instant replaying a single play for an hour.

  22. # Levion 08 Jun 2009 at 08:38

    When you you watch three movies and think that you only watched one

  23. # James Earl Joneson 10 Jun 2009 at 01:12

    Que?

  24. # Jagon 18 Jun 2009 at 22:31

    buddy ur the best man, almost everythin u said ther was true, im glad im not the only big major stoner, i thought it was jus me n' ma buddies but i guess not!!

  25. # JAGon 18 Jun 2009 at 22:32

    One time i had was i was ridin' my new harley down king george hwy, in Surrey. And i was so baked i zoned out, then 2 seconds befor i crashed i saw a car, the same car i hit. It was soooooooooo trippy, luckly i never got hurt too bad.

  26. # Jagon 18 Jun 2009 at 22:33

    i agree with u my firend

  27. # juanon 07 Jul 2009 at 10:40

    you know your too stoned when your friends dad is smoking with you. hahaha

  28. # Tabloid Prodigy » Blog Archive » Freaks ‘n linkson 22 Jul 2009 at 01:01

    [...] Hail Mary Jane: 77 ways you should know that you are way too stoned Click here to cancel reply. [...]

  29. # cooljoeson 23 Jul 2009 at 06:36

    when you go swimming and when under water you forget which side is up

  30. # gemmaon 29 Jul 2009 at 00:38

    my brother gets stoned and i get scared

  31. # heysayyes2drugzon 30 Jul 2009 at 14:26

    1.you know your way too stoned when the the ugly guy or girl looks fukable. 2. you know you are way to stoned when you say fuk it and fuk it all!

  32. # chrisisfetchon 02 Aug 2009 at 17:48

    you know you're bombed when you went to the store, got food, sat in the parking lot, ate all the food, then bugged out on your friends accusing them of eating your shit. (true story) happens like 99& of the time now a days.

  33. # lamar Mahleon 04 Aug 2009 at 22:46

    you are too stoned when you think it is a good idea to call your mom, when you get creative while shaving, when you leave the house with a dollar and sixty cents on a "mission", when lil wayne actually makes sense.

  34. # Stephanieon 07 Aug 2009 at 14:12

    All the screens are gone from every sink.

  35. # darathon 12 Aug 2009 at 18:30

    When you lift your eyebrows for a minute and forget about it until you look in the mirror like 20 mins later wondering why you suddenly got wrinkles lol

  36. # mindfreakon 15 Aug 2009 at 04:45

    wake at 7am thinking its 7pm

  37. # johnon 15 Aug 2009 at 20:56

    you know you are too stoned when your friend who speaks perfectly good english asks you or one of your buddies "will teach english" and then points to himself in a desperate attempt to make you understand

  38. # andyon 15 Aug 2009 at 20:59

    you know you are too baked when your buddies load another bowl and at your turn you freak out cause your thumbs won't move and you can't take you hit

  39. # KiKion 28 Aug 2009 at 22:28

    You know you're wwaaaaayyyy too stoned when you think that your cat is your long lost love that somehow had a curse placed upon him/her that made him/her turn into a cat. Then you started bawling and kissing your cat and trying to tell him that everything will be alright and you'll help him find a way out and that you love him. That was the craziest thing i've ever hallucinated.
    You also know when your stoned when you cook soup, call up your friends, forget about the soup, and 3 hours later you remember and find that the soup is now mushy and smelly and sooo gross. Especially because the soup was clam chowder. (ew)

  40. # juleson 31 Aug 2009 at 00:25

    When you look down all surprised cuz you forgot about the joint in your hand !

  41. # starron 31 Aug 2009 at 16:59

    I used to be known for setting my hair/eyebrows/eyelashes/sleeves on fire when I was smoking… and I actually have rolled a J with a page from the phone book before!!

  42. # Maxzwellon 08 Sep 2009 at 21:14

    rofl at so many of these, including those in comments.
    …you’re too stoned when a cigarette you just lit has finished smoking itself without your help while you were trying to formulate a sentence, so you light another one and (seemingly)
    30sec later the same thing happens to that one, so you light a third one and this time keep checking the cig compulsively to make sure it’s burning at a normal rate and there isn’t some kind of trickery going on.

  43. # stonerdanceron 11 Sep 2009 at 20:03

    ways to tell when your too stoned…. when you sit there after smokin god knows how much bud and you feel like your watching tv except your really just chillin with your homies. lol.

  44. # deechon 21 Sep 2009 at 17:47

    hahaha i love this.
    you know your way to stoned when the bowl is passed to you halfway through a story. and you know if you take a hit someone else will start talking and you'll forget what you were sayin. so you hold the bowl and lighter in your hands for a few minutes and when your done talking, you look around to see who the hell is holding up the rotation.

  45. # Alexon 21 Oct 2009 at 08:04

    When you think think that the best way not to get busted is to throw all your weed AT a cop car (True story)

  46. # Alexon 21 Oct 2009 at 08:04

    When you think think that the best way not to get busted is to throw all your weed AT a cop car (True story)

  47. # j ron 22 Oct 2009 at 19:37

    when you complain to your friend for holding the bubbler to long and when he passes it to you, you hold it for 10 min before taking a hit.

  48. # mikeon 27 Oct 2009 at 04:44

    damn who do you buy your weed from? haha

  49. # Thomason 04 Nov 2009 at 21:08

    31 for me

  50. # Thomason 04 Nov 2009 at 21:09

    also, you know youre too stoned when youre smoking with your therapist

  51. # jop'aon 05 Nov 2009 at 00:16

    when everything looks like the old school mario game and you start jumping on crap hoping itll die

  52. # Doc Dreon 08 Nov 2009 at 06:42

    you know you're too stoned when you put food on the stove and go back to watch tv… and 20 minutes later the fire alarm is going off because you forgot about your food on the stove

    you know you're too stoned when you are at a diner and you and your friends cant even place an order to the waitress because you are all giggling like little school girls

  53. # Marcon 11 Nov 2009 at 23:20

    another way u know ur too stoned is if u think a hand going up down left and right while music is playing is really an ostrage.

  54. # Robon 12 Nov 2009 at 21:51

    Isn’t this pretty much a list of cool things about being stoned? Lol come on, think about it, a world of high without what was named in this list, would be a sad, sad world.

  55. # Stoner Chickon 14 Nov 2009 at 17:31

    oh man. between my friends and i we have a good 90% of this list knocked out, and then plenty more! like deciding to watch a movie, then when the movie is half done turn to a friend and ask "hey, weren't we going to watch a movie or something?" and then we all pick out another movie, stop the one we'd been watching, and start a new one because nobody remembered putting in the first one.

  56. # Lindsayon 16 Nov 2009 at 14:03

    You know you’re way too stoned when you forget how to eat..and can’t tell if you’re awake or not.

  57. # stoneymiclongblunton 18 Nov 2009 at 02:19

    when ur paying for something and u forget wat currency ur using…….yep my friend thought he was paying in yin or euros..thats how u kno ur stoned

  58. # bobon 18 Nov 2009 at 09:30

    ya i did that, used page 420 brah yeaaahhhh!

  59. # bobon 18 Nov 2009 at 09:39

    you know youre too high when you take 3 huge bong hits out of a triple chamber, listen to wu tang first album and the speakers and room dimensions start distorting, then you literally turn green in the face and start trippin balls and getting naseous, then you go up to the university to play some raquetball, and throw up all over the place

  60. # thurrnon 20 Nov 2009 at 09:44

    when you spend 3 hours trying to find the bowl. and find it in the microwave 6days later.

  61. # nigga Jameson 25 Nov 2009 at 09:04

    When your so stoned u leave broken up bud on ur desk forget its there then find it skatterd all over ur keys/desk after playing WoW for 3 hours straight slowly spreading ur weed everywhere…. ugh happend too many times…. also (true story) trying to find ur lost pack of newps cuz you want to smoke horribly, not realizing u have a fresh new cig in ur mouth the whole time————– When u ninja around ur house trying to sneak some food while avoiding any confrentation with ur parents.

  62. # 4four2twenty0on 05 Dec 2009 at 18:41

    You know your too stoned when 10 min after taking a bong rip you burp out smoke…

  63. # kristenon 08 Dec 2009 at 21:54

    when your at a restraunt and you start freaking out cuz u think your in china cuz there’s so many Asians

  64. # barneyon 13 Dec 2009 at 04:22

    when you try to hit a bowl the wrong way.

  65. # killzon 16 Dec 2009 at 21:13

    When you ash your cig but then put the burning end in your mouth

  66. # Leslie4on 17 Dec 2009 at 03:50

    Steve, we must be related!

  67. # Leslieon 17 Dec 2009 at 03:51

    We must be related!

  68. # Brittanyon 18 Dec 2009 at 00:45

    haha im so gonna try that lmfao

  69. # T.J. on 19 Dec 2009 at 04:04

    you know your to high when your in taco bell waiting for your friend to get back with the food when he gets back and you eat your food you start talking about what your going to eat when you get back to his house. Also when your having a staring competition with your friend then all of a sudden everything goes kinda fuzzy and then your on the floor while your friend is laughing hysterically at you…. then you start laughing to

  70. # Dirtsquirrelon 31 Dec 2009 at 02:48

    You know your too high when its only you and your friend smoking from a nice tall glass bong and your friend smashe's it on the concrete, and tells everyone it was your fault that you have some sort of curse. Then you go to smoke with that person again with another person and their bong breaks, and he yells at you. TRUE STORY!

  71. # lewison 03 Jan 2010 at 04:49

    you know ur stoned if you just searched "how to know how stoned your are" on google and read this hole thread from start to finsih in 2 hours and 45min

  72. # deskreeton 05 Jan 2010 at 03:33

    ill drive by 5 subways to get to a wendys because i dont have to get out of the car

  73. # deskreeton 05 Jan 2010 at 03:35

    the classic huff. make sure not to inhale after u exhale, u get fabric softener shit in ur lungs it doesnt feel good at all

  74. # johny highon 06 Jan 2010 at 21:20

    3,11,13,19,20,21,23,26,52,54,57,58,61,65,69,76
    <<Yeap thats ME!!! hahaha thats funny as shit!!!

  75. # Read This Link » 77 Ways You Should Know You Are Too Stonedon 09 Jan 2010 at 22:39

    [...] 77 Ways You Should Know You Are Too Stoned [...]

  76. # yes...on 10 Jan 2010 at 06:02

    Then you cut out a piece of screen from your window. Doesnt work. Dont try it. Its a waste of green.

  77. # Teh_Blair_Witchon 14 Jan 2010 at 02:35

    @ Melissa: Don't think I can top smoking the bible. Though we did smoke our public transportation tickets and afterwards we had to walk home. XD Which was still very funny, though.

    You know you're way too stoned, when everytime you close your eyes, you forget completely about where you are and who you are with (and occasionally who you ARE and if you exist or not:P). Every time you open your eyes you remember, but when you close them, you forget again. :P

    Also, you're way too stoned when you set the couch at a friends house on fire and all you do is laugh hysterically. The dude's parents were on vacation. We were there smoking and some ash fell on the couch and it started burning while we were in another room. When walking back to the living room my BF made a joke about the couch being on fire when we would get back, which was the case. The dude had to fix the couch and while he was doing that, the two of us just rofl'd and made sewing jokes.

  78. # in this styleon 14 Jan 2010 at 21:43

    right

  79. # piffmanon 18 Jan 2010 at 01:27

    Ur to high when you lost where u left ur feet. True story lol

  80. # jordanon 19 Jan 2010 at 06:08

    well i had a good but i forgot what it was but i guess that is a good one haha

  81. # Sandwich Artiston 23 Jan 2010 at 22:27

    How about when you are afraid to go to work at Subway because you have to ask people so many questions and you know that you only were paying attention to half of what they said.

  82. # Beckieon 24 Jan 2010 at 08:13

    u always know ur super stoned when u put the blunt out in ur coke can instead of the ash tray and u forget its in there and u drink it and u only realize this when ur friends ask u what hapened to the rest of the blunt 5 minute later

  83. # SlickBobon 26 Jan 2010 at 08:49

    When you try to load a new bowl only to find you haven't even started the last one you loaded

  84. # Stoner from denmarkon 31 Jan 2010 at 22:36

    hahah very nice..

    We all know some of theese situations for our selves..

    the worst happened for me was when i was so high i still pissed when i put my dick back in the pants..

    sorry for my bad english, I hope its understandable.

  85. # jackieon 02 Feb 2010 at 22:11

    when you go to an arcade and just stand there for three hours cause you cant focus enough to put the dollar bills in the coin machine

  86. # Mitchon 06 Feb 2010 at 02:56

    When you're so high that you cook something in the microwave, and when it goes off you yell "DING!!!!!!" (true story)

  87. # Sarahon 08 Feb 2010 at 05:47

    when you get lost in your fridge and think your on a journey in there looking for food.

  88. # Jackon 09 Feb 2010 at 11:30

    you know your too high when you forget what you were saying and say ummmmmmmmmmm for 10 minutes until you remember

  89. # Toke-ahontason 10 Feb 2010 at 00:23

    haha you know ur too stoned when you bring a bag of chips to the store on your journey to get munchies
    @juan: lol yeah? i know im too stoned when MY dad is smoking with me lol

  90. # Toke-ahontason 10 Feb 2010 at 00:31

    lol and the story lines kinda merge together.. try being blitzed outta your tree, watching Drag Me To Hell, then watching Aladdin cause one of your friends is a huge Disney fan… that is one crazy combination lol

  91. # On Plutoon 10 Feb 2010 at 02:00

    When you start saying something and stop, then you start laughing, and your friend says “what are you laughing at?”, and you say “because i was saying something” and your friend says “when?” and you say “i dont know, but it seemed like a long time ago” and your friend says “you know what they used to do a long time ago? ride horses everywhere.” and you say “i bet it would take a long time to go to the store on a horse.” And then you both continue watching tv.

  92. # Dr.LivingStonedon 11 Feb 2010 at 11:54

    You're too stoned when you think it's a good idea to trip acid at your freinds house…. your freinds dad happens to be a preacher. (true story uber fun!)

  93. # weedman3000on 12 Feb 2010 at 04:17

    1)when you are talking to someone, fall asleep mid sentence then wake up 15 minutes later continuing what you were saying
    2)when you shit your pants cause you farted and don't even realize it

  94. # daveon 12 Feb 2010 at 19:12

    When you have a conversation on how Camel cigarettes and zebra cakes are equal

  95. # i <3 ganjaon 17 Feb 2010 at 03:46

    when degrassi ( the older one that drake was on) becomes a part of your daily smoking routine lol…. watch degrassi and listen to kid cudi

  96. # flashon 18 Feb 2010 at 06:44

    when you spend half an hour playing shadow puppets and pretending to be monsters destroying a city

  97. # Bennetton 19 Feb 2010 at 22:45

    when you look at your friend who is sitting there calmly and tell him he needs to calm down.

  98. # Bennetton 19 Feb 2010 at 22:59

    when you only remember 1 or 2 parts of a movie you just watched.
    when you eat cereal from a cup while kneeling in the middle of your room.
    when you drop weed on the ground and you try to lick it up.
    when you think your going to fall out of the car.
    when anything on t.v is funny. ( watch divorce court and just listen to everybody arguing)
    when your friends tell you all this funny shit that you did and you don't remember it.
    and when you are spinning and looking up at the sky and yelling… THE SKY IS MOVING!
    also when you and your friend laugh for like 30 minutes thinking that your laughing at the same thing but finally when it's over you find out that you were both laughing at completely different things…… then laugh about that for another 30 min.

  99. # PuppyJuiceon 01 Mar 2010 at 23:55

    I know I'm stoned when I lay something down and can't find it a few minutes, I'm famous for losing everything I touch as soon as I get high. By the way, that girl in the pic looks like she has a little more going on than just being stoned.

  100. # smokeyon 03 Mar 2010 at 01:42

    You know you're too stoned when you think you are walking straight, but you are walking with a slant the whole time. (truestory) or you think that you're walking straight when you are sitting down. (true story) Heres another one you hit your bowl and you know in your head u should be stopping. (truestory

  101. # Misanthropiston 03 Mar 2010 at 02:43

    You know you are too stoned when
    A) your idiotic enough to carry in excess of ounces for personal use as a group
    B) when you run from an ambulance
    C) when you ran into a dead end so if it was the police you would have been screwed.
    D) watching childrens tv at 6am

  102. # Johnon 05 Mar 2010 at 06:44

    Not true, first time I smoked with my friend, his mom, and his stepdad.

  103. # Johnon 05 Mar 2010 at 06:50

    IMO, you are too high when you announce to everyone that they are flat and that they should explain themselves.

  104. # Johnon 05 Mar 2010 at 06:52

    Also when you keep asking the sleeping people why they aren't playing Nazi Zombies with you…

  105. # Brandonon 06 Mar 2010 at 11:19

    When you have to read the 52 like 14 times cause you don’t understand, and when you do, you just don’t get it…

  106. # ewokson 11 Mar 2010 at 07:49

    you know your stoned when your rug wont stop tickling your feet. and at the same time your friend is asking what sound does the walobee's make. so your just walking in place with a big grin on your face going "he he he"

  107. # weednikon 20 Mar 2010 at 07:45

    you know your too stoned when you cant read the rest of this list because your about to piss your pants after reading #14.

  108. # weednikon 20 Mar 2010 at 07:50

    oh shit, made it to 46 then lost it again. full on fell-out-of-chair-face in carpet cough fest, laughing my ass off….with drool

  109. # gr3gon 28 Mar 2010 at 02:37

    you know you're stoned when you hold the phone like 10mins after the other person hung up. or you think you were just on hold the whole time.

  110. # Mandyon 30 Mar 2010 at 06:01

    When it takes you two hours to realize that the familiar looking guy you're smoking with is the guy that sold you your bowl at the local headshop.

  111. # bobon 01 Apr 2010 at 02:53

    you know your too stoned when your pop tart bites you…( true story )

  112. # Mr. Greenon 01 Apr 2010 at 06:48

    You know your to high when:
    you wear sunglasses at night
    see the sun at night
    think your ugly cousin is the hottest girl while your in a girls gone wild party
    talk to the dorrito god
    talk to the dorrito god….and it talks back
    and finally, when you wake up with a boner and you see your aunt cooking breakfast….with your jersey on

  113. # Richardon 01 Apr 2010 at 19:10

    when you are staring in-depth at the blue neon lights shining through the fan on your computer's case (which i am currently doing xD)

  114. # Budboion 04 Apr 2010 at 05:11

    Your to stoned when your having a sesh an have a cigge an a joint an you toke on the cigge thinking its the joint lol

  115. # Bud boion 04 Apr 2010 at 05:18

    Ur waay to stoned When you leave ur hole fitty bag in an alley , kant roll because ur hands magicaly move by themselves , lol kant think of much . There mostly already sed haha , stay HIGH

  116. # vikingstonerrobotthing?on 05 Apr 2010 at 17:13

    when you make a mock olympic game out of who can make it to the fridge in the least steps…

  117. # Shadeon 06 Apr 2010 at 02:37

    You know you're too stoned when you spend half an hour waiting for the dude to show up with more weighing shit you found in your pockets with the scale. o.o

    You know youre too stoned when you spend over 10 minutes thinking philisophically about phrases such as "the shit end of the stick".

    Or…. When youre jamming out to a song you know you would hate with a burning passion… if you were sober.
    >.O Weird hippy sounding trippy shit… "Turn it off, dude, I cant handle the truth!"

  118. # Scottieon 07 Apr 2010 at 06:43

    Hah! I definitely had that happen at college in Indiana!

  119. # bolton 07 Apr 2010 at 18:55

    you know your way to stoned when your best friend thinks its time to turn himself into the police and on the way to the police station we bothe got distracted by a giant dancing pickle laugh for what seemed like hours ended up whoring your best friend out to a guy so know hes BI lol true story
    theres alot more but i wouldn want to over due it

  120. # Edon 09 Apr 2010 at 09:52

    You know your too stoned when your friend thinks hes in a dream and thinks if he kills you he`ll wake up,
    not fucking fun lol,

    When you spend 10 mins happily callin your friend a dumbass for losing the lighter only to find you had it all along.

    When your trying to light a bowl and somehow drop the lighter into the bong lol true story.

  121. # nickon 09 Apr 2010 at 16:53

    u walk to the shop to buy food and everyone is looking at u cause u cant walk in a straight line and keep tripiing ova

  122. # nickon 09 Apr 2010 at 16:54

    u walk home after smoking at a mates and u forget where u are half way

  123. # nickon 09 Apr 2010 at 16:55

    u stand up and everything goes blury and u feel like ur gunna pass out on the floor

  124. # nickon 09 Apr 2010 at 16:56

    u walk 2 the kitchen for food and run into the wall cause u thort there was heaps more space

  125. # EZAon 14 Apr 2010 at 03:00

    @ #41

    Around 18-20 I had 2 shopping bags of lighters from smoking with friends and always taking lighters.

    Now I'm 29 and its hard to break the habit, I don't mean it but would at least get 3-4 lighters a week without realizing.

  126. # Lynneon 15 Apr 2010 at 14:31

    #54 && 56 on a regular basis lol
    When you put your pants in the dryer, then half an hour later relize your bag was in the pants… in the dryer!!! :O it was a horrifying moment lol.

  127. # Anguson 17 Apr 2010 at 04:18

    Bahaha! “When walking to the kitchen seems like an epic journey” Me and my friends actually realized how much this happened to us so we get a boombox and the lord of the rings sound track and set it up in the living room. Now whenever someone goes to the kitchen we play the theme =D
    DU DUNNN DU BUN UNUNUMMM DADADA DODO DA DADA DEEE

    Anyway, we have a few good ones to add =P

    1. When you can relate to every single thing in the song “High as fuck” by Jon Lajoie (youtube it)
    2. When you’re doing something and someone else turns on music somewhere in the house and you don’t realize someone’s playing music, instead you become convinced that your life now has a theme song
    3. When you decide to cook something, and when you’re reading the ingredients you pause and think to yourself “… this [insert food] would taste so much better with pot.” You then proceed to cook said food (in our case it was marinated chicken breasts) with three ounces of green thrown into in the dish.
    4. When you get a severe craving for breast milk, which you share with your friends, and instead of being horrified everyone in your group agrees that a nice big cup of breast milk would really hit the spot right about now.
    5. When one of your friends slumps into a hilarious looking weed-induced posture and you grab a camera to take a picture, only to blind yourself with the flash because you held the camera around the wrong way around. You then forget to delete the picture and your little sister finds a shot of a pair a wide ass, startled, blood-shot eyes on there the next day.
    6. When you wake ‘n’ bake, then head into the city and spend the day buying shit you don’t need with credit you don’t have. In my case it was 61 pairs of underwear, one of every board game in the store Mind Games, 12 rubik’s cubes (which I planed to solve before the end of the day), and a 96 pack of protein shakes.
    7. When you take a shower and end up choking on the water.
    8. When you order a whole bunch of hydroponics gear because you made a snap decision to grow your own ganja… while still living in your drug hating parents’ house.

  128. # momsastoneron 19 Apr 2010 at 11:55

    *you know your too stoned, when your son is bringing home the goodies for you :P

  129. # Collegeboyon 22 Apr 2010 at 01:04

    When you're smoking that indoor-indoor-paranoid-stuff and start freaking out the people in the apartments around you are going to smell it and call the cops, so you start lighting more incense, then zone out and come back to when you've lit all of your incense and the apartment is so full of smoke you have to open the glass door and stand on your tiny-ass back porch. That sucked. could've started a fire.

  130. # zoeon 22 Apr 2010 at 01:35

    when you have so many things to post here but you don't feel like thinking of them

  131. # i dont knowon 24 Apr 2010 at 06:59

    you know your high when its like living on a laggy old computerscreen in the land of frame by frame with you gonig frame by frame and you can swear that you can feel the frames behind you dissapating and you have to take sandwitch breaks while typing something this long

  132. # stoner charlieon 28 Apr 2010 at 20:29

    you know your too high when your in your kitchen with your friend eating cereal straight out the box without milk and your friend falls and you think he is haveinga seizure and start thowing the cereal at him and hes rollin ound on the floor trying not to get hit by the cornflakes and your doing it untill you run out of cerealwhile laughing hysterically and so is your friend

    you know your too high when you ask your best friend how much 22 9 bars would cost and if we cood put it all in the bathroom n just set the whole thing on fire and stay there for days

    whwn thees 2 of you in the room one of you is passed out at you shout CIZZ skin up and hes asleep so you both start throwing 3 weeks of ciggarette and zoot nubs at his pace till he wakes up walks out the house and comes bk realising we were in his house :D

    LEGALIZE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

  133. # dustinon 01 May 2010 at 03:16

    pass out while playing a video game but still play the game ahaha

  134. # Thaeon 04 May 2010 at 00:31

    When you are playing 4 way Mario cart and you think you are doing awesome only to realize you were watching your buddy’s screen the whole time and it was really he who is awesome. Meanwhile your cart has just been bumping a wall the last 5 minutes going nowhere.

  135. # Smurfon 10 May 2010 at 01:39

    You know your too stoned when you
    and your friends are all huddled together
    on the couch and gasping of fear…while watching the cartoon chowder.
    You know your to stoned when your smoking in your friends backyard and saying
    “how that bird on the telephone wire is waaaay to close”.

  136. # Joeon 12 May 2010 at 22:29

    You know you are to stoned when you turn off all your lights and keep peaking out your curtains for the cops.

  137. # sunirayzeon 13 May 2010 at 03:57

    When you are reading something long (like an ingredients, etc.) and you subconciously start reading it in a rythm or a song.

    When your friend or even yourself sounds like you have a speech impediment. and you can't stop laughing over it.

    when you make something 15 times harder than reallistically it would be.

    when you get overly excited over something, mostly food haha.

    when you decide to eat something, put it somewhere, forget about it, go make some nachos, and feel like you want to eat the previous thing and forget that is what you were going to eat originally.

    all in which i have went through hahah.

  138. # C.R.E.A.M.on 13 May 2010 at 20:23

    You know you're too stoned when you just realized you just smoked in an old person's home

  139. # bahhon 15 May 2010 at 03:06

    1) when you make out with a basketball thinking its ur girlfriend
    2) when you can hear your hair growing :)
    3) when its 12 pm and you wonder how the sky got so dark and then you realise that your wearing 7 pairs of sunglasses

  140. # .:nikki:.on 17 May 2010 at 17:12

    number 74 has happened to me well my bangs caught on fire, my boyfriend brought it to my attention i was to stoned to even care xD

  141. # Susannahon 17 May 2010 at 17:13

    i’m such a head – i think i’ve done the majority of these things..

  142. # Haleighon 24 May 2010 at 22:42

    *when your friend is texting, and the beeping you hear is convincing you that the ice cream truck is driving around at three a.m.
    *when you are sitting on the couch and ask "is this a rocking chair? because im rockin'!!"
    *when you stare at the wall for about thirty minutes, smiling to yourself because you know that you are so high that a wall can amuse you
    *when you think youve found the silhouette of dracula on your ceiling
    *when everytime you close your eyes, you see in kaleidescope colors
    *when you cant feel your tongue
    *when you think youve gone blind, then you realize you just had your eyes closed for a while

  143. # Haleighon 24 May 2010 at 22:42

    *when you rub your stomache and insist that its the softest thing in the world
    *when you can actually tolerate shitty music
    *when you really dont want to do anything, not even talk
    *when you laugh so hard at the stupidest things youve ever heard
    *when you go on youtube and type in "trippy videos", by the end of the video you find that you had your mouth hanging open the entire time
    *when you hit your friend, and then it feels like ten minutes have passed, and she finally hits you back and you go " why the hell did it take you so long!" and she goes "you dumbass you hit me three seconds ago!"
    *when you see a yoohoo wrapper on your floor and mistake it for a muffin, then try to eat it
    *when you mkae air quotes and double over laughing because it looked like a crab
    *when you are watching adult swim and absolutely nothing makes ssense.
    *when your mom is talking to you and all you can focus on is how slowly the wall behind her is moving
    *when your dog looks disappointed in you
    *when you get a shitload of food on your plate, thinking you can eat it all, then fall asleep without touching it

  144. # Haleighon 24 May 2010 at 22:43

    *when you think you lose your money and look EVERYWHERE, then find it in the usual place, your bra
    *when you are taking the mct's and you keep forgetting what you read, so you have to start over numeroous times, and then you get tired of all the reading and just play eeny meeny miny moe to answer the questions
    *when you arrive somewhere and are sure that everyone is staring down at you disapprovingly, knowing that you are high
    *when you go to church with your friend and make yourself beleive that everyone can smell it on you
    *when you look at the water, and say its digital
    *when suddenly everything looks greener
    *when you feel like your falling and can hardly comprehend what anyone is saying
    *when nothing you say comes out right
    *when you go around with a goofy smile on your face that you didnt know was there
    *when you think you can feel your legs curling into little balls
    (all very, very personal experiences)

  145. # rasta_daddyon 25 May 2010 at 10:14

    oh my god … yes … i watched the road in front of me and it just stretched way way way out … i parked … i walked … i drove some more on the ever longer road … it took me five hours to drive 10 miles … and that is the truth

  146. # Daffodilon 26 May 2010 at 17:31

    When you stare at the computer screen so long it goes to the screensaver (which you changed to "pipes" because it was "pretty good") then watched that for so long your computer went to hibernation.

  147. # trippyon 30 May 2010 at 22:32

    You're too high…
    …when you fall asleep with food in your mouth while eating
    …when you can't recall what you did yesterday, last week, last month, or even last year
    …when you're sitting in a hot bath tub staring at the wall for half an hour without even thinking about anything
    …when you move to another place at an outdoor party in middle on a joint, and halfway you lose the joint
    …when you believe you had a heart attack and lie on the floor shaking for an hour, realizing you're fine
    …when you start solving a rubik's cube and halfway you close your eyes and forget that you're solving a cube, and think that you're controlling a spaceship with the cube
    …when you find a dog on the street and you take it home into your room, showing him your dick, and you find yourself with some random dog licking your cock like crazy
    …when you're so paranoid that you're afraid of old grannies
    …when you're rolling a joint, and a bee flies on your nose, but you just continue to roll with the bee on your nose
    …when you spend hours trying to find your key

    (all true stories)

  148. # trippyon 30 May 2010 at 22:55

    You're too high when you forget your PIN number and enter wrong numbers, and the ATM takes your bank card.

  149. # boingson 30 May 2010 at 23:04

    How about when the only reason you know you’ve been to a drive-thru is through your friends. You’ve been there multiple times, apparently, but never remember it.

  150. # pot princess=gayon 02 Jun 2010 at 23:07

    nah that just means you're gay

  151. # davesuckscockon 03 Jun 2010 at 01:47

    Booooo

  152. # JAGisgayon 03 Jun 2010 at 01:50

    gay

  153. # Rolling stoner 69on 03 Jun 2010 at 03:55

    how about when you look down at your arm and find a robot drilling into your arm so it can infiltrate your nervous system so it can take over your brain. and then you realize that there is no robot, youre just stoned right before you head home. then once you get home, you find yourself in a raining field completely naked, and see a light which begins to talk to you, telling you that they are a bunch of aliens and your creator and that you are the new jesus.

    yepp… i was wayyy too stoned that night… and i think that weed might have been laced iwth something, but that happens EVERY time i smoke weed after that one time i took x…. lol i should stop. hahahah

  154. # Jonon 04 Jun 2010 at 16:39

    When words are of paramount difficulty, and hand gestures are your only physically possible form of communication

  155. # michealon 07 Jun 2010 at 02:10

    for me when i know i smoke so muck weed from around my area i dont get high no more but when i tried weed from another city or place it gets me high as fuck try it if you know what i mean if you dont then try it and you will and if you do then message my yahoo micheal45701@yahoo.com

  156. # Dan-0on 08 Jun 2010 at 20:27

    I have chilled for 20 min. Not knowing my song went off, that’s why I put my shit on repeat

  157. # jahshon 10 Jun 2010 at 08:51

    after i smoked a few bowls, i got thirsty but all I had was warm bottled water. So i stuck ice cubes in the bottle but one didn't fit. I put it on the lip of the bottle and sat in the sun watching it melt until it fell in! hahaha good times xD

  158. # carlosson 10 Jun 2010 at 17:44

    haha when i run out of papers i use one of the books of mormom i've gotten for free.

  159. # Puppeton 11 Jun 2010 at 05:48

    you know you're too stoned when you start hyperventilating and your friends try to tell you how to use a inhaler but you just get pissed at them and 20 min. later ask how you use the inhaler.

  160. # josiahon 22 Jun 2010 at 08:58

    1. that's something that happens when you're drunk

  161. # Brandonon 26 Jun 2010 at 06:30

    1. When you think your seatbelt is a dragon trying to squeeze you to death.
    2. When you realize the tram you've been riding on for 20 min. is actually your car and you're driving.
    3. When your shower feels like a rainbow of unmitigated energy.
    4. When you think you made up time to feel normal and fit in with everyone else.
    5. When you see wrappers from fast food restaurants scattered around your room that you don't remember going to.
    6. When you pet your cat for 30 minutes straight because it's the craziest thing you've ever felt.
    7. When you figure out how to time travel.
    8. When you can't remember where you've been and what you've done for the past 4 days.
    9. When you look out your window to see if it's night or day.
    10. When you think a cat drinking out of a cup is the funniest thing you've ever seen and laugh at it for 3 hours straight.

  162. # Brandonon 26 Jun 2010 at 06:38

    When think there's an earthquake and realize it's just you breathing.
    When you can't eat because you think there's an alien in your mouth and it turns out to be your tongue.

  163. # Expeliarmus!on 29 Jun 2010 at 13:24

    Good Game!!!! Baby Powder works too, but not as cleanly as what you just said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  164. # Craigon 29 Jun 2010 at 17:19

    one time me and my friend were toking it up and he took his hit and passed it back to me then while i was taking the hit i watched the carb wondering why i wasnt getting a hit, then it hit me. i told my friend and he started cracking up and i was like "haha why is that so funny?" and he was like "dude, i did the exact same thing!"

  165. # hiiiiiiion 02 Jul 2010 at 11:50

    king george in Farnborough? i live near there

  166. # ManWithOutHeadon 02 Jul 2010 at 12:56

    went to the shop by car and return walking, reach home ” where is my car ?!!”

  167. # steve is gayon 02 Jul 2010 at 19:57

    that doesn't happen

  168. # Brandon Dadioon 02 Jul 2010 at 20:06

    nope

  169. # Jessicaon 05 Jul 2010 at 18:40

    Dude, I smoke with peoples parents all the time.

  170. # rafsdon 14 Jul 2010 at 11:06

    HAHAHAH! that's brilliant.

  171. # whynay emnayon 20 Jul 2010 at 15:20

    I set my hair on fire once. And my dad picked me up an hour later. had to cut all the burnt ends of my hair WHILE i was stoned.

  172. # savageon 21 Jul 2010 at 12:21

    being stoned is just like being a really old person

  173. # Dimanon 29 Jul 2010 at 07:42

    Вы все отстой!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  174. # Dimanon 29 Jul 2010 at 07:45

    Полные отстойники!!!!

  175. # Dimanon 29 Jul 2010 at 07:47

    Ну не все ,но в основном да

  176. # xxxxxon 01 Aug 2010 at 04:21

    You know you’re stoned when you start repeating yourself over and over and over Until someone tells you to stop and you keep thinking everyone is talking shit about you so you walk away sad Until you get man thinking about it.

  177. # ThatBlackDutchKidon 03 Aug 2010 at 23:16

    When you pull out the plug of your tv to put your charger in, then sit down, try to turn on the tv, panice because it doesnt turn on, and call your mom to ask what's wrong with the TV

    When you got the munchies, put some fries in a frying pan, walk out, get some Mcdonalds, and stay there for 6 hours

    When you are asking somebody outside how to get to your house, while standing in front of it

  178. # benon 06 Aug 2010 at 05:47

    holy SHIT dude i got to 57 and went OH FUCK 5 questions before i went and traded 2 scoops of ice cream for a box of cookies! fuck yea!

  179. # jeseeuon 08 Aug 2010 at 15:43

    When u think ur gonna die if u go to sleep…when u think a friend of yours is gona steal your soul and start running from them…and u do the same thing 20 times in a row… :) )

  180. # Ganjaliciouson 09 Aug 2010 at 21:42

    when youre wearing blue faded pants and the colors intensify and get bluer

  181. # alowon 10 Aug 2010 at 00:14

    your too stoned when you keep re-reading everything multiple times to finally comprehend it

    your too stoned when you wake up and spill all your weed because you didnt remember to put it away

  182. # Danielleon 11 Aug 2010 at 04:06

    You know you're too stoned when you and your friend are to lazy to get up and go to the kitchen so you decide to try to eat a tissue, and you REALLY know you're stoned when you like it and go back for seconds. :)
    Also one time me and my friend decided we'd create a church of the COLLOSSAL CRUNCH!
    "Praise Malt-O-Meal!"

  183. # kyleeeeon 11 Aug 2010 at 04:27

    haha all of these are true:]
    when you close your eyes and suddenly the room is gone
    when you cant tell if your watching a horror movie or a comedy
    when the room wont stop changing sizes
    when you try to chase the moon
    when you keep making philosophies
    when you cant tell if you have a boner or not

  184. # alecon 11 Aug 2010 at 22:49

    i did 74 this morning but it was a bong..

  185. # Willon 12 Aug 2010 at 18:55

    when u sketch out at a knocking noise thats actually the song your listening to

  186. # JayCassonon 17 Aug 2010 at 00:21

    when you order 25 burritos for u and your friends then suddenly realize your the only one there.

  187. # sparkyon 17 Aug 2010 at 02:50

    when you and your friends are standing in the middle of mcdonalds for and hour trying to decide who will go up and order because everyone is too terrified to order

  188. # Elenaon 31 Aug 2010 at 14:11

    u know when ur high when youre munching on junk food and everything you burp you feel like smoke is coming out of your nose and ears
    and when it tallk you over 30 minutes to type this comment.

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