Aug 10 2009
10 Things Children Can Get Away With That Adults Can’t
Ahhh the good old days. The days when your biggest worries were what you were going to wear to school tomorrow and what lunch is. If you ask any child, they will probably tell you they want to be grown up but many adults would prefer to go back to being a kid if they had the chance. Kids don’t have the responsibilities and stresses that adults do. They can also get away with a lot more things than we can and people will not look at them crazy or call authorities.
Here is a list of some things that kids can do and say in public and not have to worry about being humiliated. Kids do the darnedest things.
Pissing your pants where ever – There is never a time, after the age of about 10 or so, where peeing in your pants is ok. Babies and little kids can not only get away with it but they can get people to come and clean up after them. You try that and let me know how it works out for you.
Sucking your thumb – Some little kids do this and some don’t but if you see a grown person doing it, it’s not a good look. No one wants to shake you slobbery ass hand. Plus, if it is a female and I see her sucking (her thumb) then of course my mind goes right to the gutter. Oh well.
Calling people out – Little kids can get away with saying hilariously true statements to people that may not be the nicest thing to say. “You smell bad” or “why does your face look like that?” are things you shouldn’t be surprised to hear from a little kid because they will tell you things that adults won’t a lot of the time, even though they are thinking it.
Grabbing random boobs – Actually nevermind…. hot girls can get away with this one.
Breaking things – Whether it is you or your kids who break something, you have to replace it.
Drooling on people – I’m sure you’ve seen some girls that made you want to drool every now and then but it is not a good look for you to talk around drooling on random people.
Walking around naked – Babies don’t care about walking around naked. They haven’t had the time to develop all the insecurities about their bodies that you and I have become accustom to. Not that I necessarily want to see kids walking around naked but I’m more ok with that than half of the adults out here. I definitely DON’T want to see your old balls or saggy breasts.
Stealing – If a kid “accidentally” steals something and gets caught, people will just take back their stuff and laugh it off. It might even be considered cute. If you get caught stealing, you go to jail.
Playing with disgusting things – If you catch your baby playing with his own feces you will be upset, clean it up, and that will be the end of it. If you see your husband do that, it might be time for a divorce.
Stating the ultra obvious – Little kids remind me on tweeters sometimes. They will narrate every little thing that they are doing. I don’t need to know that you are playing with your toy, just play with it. Adults who do that are often loners.
What else did I miss that kids can get away with that adults can’t? Leave some comments everyone.
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[...] Ten Things Children Can Get Away With That Adults Can’t (Hail Mary Jane) [...]
Yesterday my 21 month old son pointed to a chick as she walked by with her belly hanging out and over the front of her jeans and said "belly". It was very funny.
Nut punches.
Actually, hitting/kicking in general…but "nut punches" has more, well…punch to it.
yeah, I got kicked by a 3 year old on the street the other day… oddly, I still thought he was adorable when right after kicking me he proceeded to smile angelically and wave hello to me while his mom lectured him about not kicking strangers… stupid but true.
Proofread.
as an 82 year old veteran of ww2.i get away with things those kids never heard of.give cops the raspberry? go to jail for life? moon your mamma in public? tell you stories? the koala bear is smoking a joint in a tree. little lizard comes along, sees this, goes up to have a joint or 2, gets real thirsty. at the river is spotted by a crocidile. croc sez, what`s shaking? liz sez, maryjane in a tree with koala . croc goes to investigate, koala sees him, sez shit man, how much water didja drink? love your site!!
[...] 10 things kids can get away with and adults can’t. Wish we could grab random boobs. (Hail Mary Jane) [...]
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[...] Things Childen Can Get Away With That Adults Can’t [...]
11. Taking the handbrake off experimentally on a hill and climbing out to watch the resulting carnage below.
12. Hiding under long dresses.
13. Getting an erection in the changing rooms
14. Urinating/Defecating in broad daylight at public events
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